confidentiality and shame in CCI
One of the essentials of the CCI approach is how to handle one's emotions satisfactory. Another essential is the maintaining of confidentiality during what we call the CCI-co-counseling 'working time'. That means that whatever is said, within this working time, will never be mentioned outside the four walls of that sharing. During the 'fundamentals' training of the CCI introduction, lots of time is spent practicing this item within and also outside the course. Similarly, recent publications in this field do pay attention to aspects of honoring this confidentiality.
Within CCI co-counseling, you are allowed to report your personal impressions. It is always your impressions and your view! We live from our subjective experience. The subjective experience of others is different from ours- even when there are similarities. If while visiting an ordinary pub somewhere in Connecticut (USA), we take a photo without permission - we break others' right to confidentiality and anonymity. This is opposite to the tenets of the CCI approach.
several months ago....
Several months ago, just before leaving for New Zealand on December 23, we wrote our last article for CCI World News Service. It was summer in New Zealand at that time. We liked the change in temperature and language; and looked forward to the meeting of dear friends from long ago. Coming back to the Netherlands was a reverse change, which was good as well - in spite of the seasonal change to bitterly cold.
One of the Americans attending the 2015 CCI meeting in New Zealand, Rob Metcalfe, wrote for this Newsletter his personal impression of the of the New Zealand community in a poem. It is published in this article as well.
With our return, we've had time enough to think over how to continue with CCI World News Service, an issue that has been in our thoughts for a long time. CCI World News is still not yet completed. We recognize that there is a time to start (now already 15 years ago), a time to end and a time to review the CCI experience of today.
by Thomas Scheff
Cooperative learning is becoming a powerful voice in world education, writes Thomas Scheff, professor emeritus of sociology at the University of California (USA) in this article called 'a problem in cooperative learning'. It proposes that kids (9-12 years old, going to high school) learn about their social emotional world. He continues: 'Although promising in the social part, mainly thru the use of team teaching, it appears to be weak with respect to emotions. So far there has been only the mere mention, in passing, of the names of some of the common emotions, such as anger or fear. That is to say if follows the practice of modern societies of dismissing emotions as unimportant, not referring to them at all, or so briefly as to amount to dismissal. This note suggests a provisional way to begin to add emotion components to cooperative teaching, based on descriptions of each of six emotions: grief, fear, anger, pride, shame and fatigue.
Dutch CCI activities 2015
The Dutch CCI community, called CCN (Co-Counseling Nederland), announces in a special Newsletter of December 20thies, their members and other interestands about a new Back to basics course and two other coming eventsn for the next year.
They are: first a so called back to basic course on 6 and 7th March 2015 at Donkerbroek, second a new initiative for learning and exercising handling your emotions according to the CCI approach end third an international CCI meeting between German and Dutch co-counselors in Donkerbroek from 5 till 7 june 2015.
In the meantime I write this, while seeing big buildings from Auckland, a former capital of New Zealand. Arriving here on the first Xmas day 2014 at 8 o' clock in the morning, to attend the CCI meeting in January 2015. The sun shines and it is a gift to meet so many dear friends again!
CCI Israel 2013 (b)
by Rose Evison and Richard Horobin
how did you experience Old Jerusalem?
Amazing and overwhelming! A city on a hill, surrounded by walls and streets still often on the Roman plan. Layer upon layer of buildings, huddled together, both religious and secular, with many 'streets' underground. Of course there was a great diversity in religious buildings, not only Jewish synagogues, Christian churches, and Islamic mosques, but many divisions within these religions.
CCI Israel 2013 (a)
by Rose Evison and Richard Horobin
an editorial explanation
Following the first CCI international meeting held in Israel, during October 2013, Rose Evison and Richard Horobin report their impressions of their visit to that country. Rose and Richard are a couple well known in CCI circles world wide, and are also known for their slogan "Co-counselling is about changing yourself and your world". Recently, since a report of their experiences, produced following an interview for a Scottish co-counselling magazine, was still "in press", they enquired of the Editor of the CCI World News Service if he was interested in publishing a version of this interview. They also proposed he sought comments from the Israeli co-counsellors on what has happened since CCI Israel 2013. The Editor liked these suggestions because of the authors' role in CCI (since 1974) and also because they have a message for the CCI community in general. So the floor is theirs!
The saying 'we all get older' is - in Dutch - what we call a sick joke or a so called 'open door'. This is because it is too much the truth. We all have to do this: face the reality of our aging. Whatever belief we have or not, this is common to all of us.
Getting older myself (I am now almost over 83!), is still in my view a joyful thing! And getting older is not in my control. It just happens. Similarly with aging for all of us, life looks like a process that just overcomes you, whether you like it or not. Thus with facing aging, all can reflect on the question 'Have I used my time well?'
One benefit of aging is that your personal history still grows inside you. It is like a film that unrolls itself- like an evolving process! For myself, it is as if I am back in my fifties and there is still a lot to be thankful for! For example: the kind of people, I met during those years, encouraged me to become the person I am now. And all of them contributed to my being who I am now. Some of them may never known this!
aware or unaware?
As I wrote earlier, reading the self-help book 'selbsthilfe'of Ellen Bultmann and Dr. Martin Kreuels I was impressed. Later I realized that it was not only the amount of diseases and 'troubles' the participants had to meet as emotional realities that was impressive during their lifetime. It was also their many different capacities, to cope with what happened to them, that impressed me. They used these capcacities, whether aware or not aware, which gave them the possibilities to continue, in one way or another, with their life.
'What they did, aware or not aware, was exactly what 'we' (in CCI) do and what we try to do, being more aware and so being the utmost effective in our lives. From the book, mentioned above, it is very clear that one of the 'things' all participants of the different self help groups have in common with the CCI approach is, the confidentiality they want to be honoured. And we have more in common. All the approaches need - in my view - a certain amount of respect for what happened or happens emotionally to the speaker. Thus, the speaker and the listener(s) both have to accept and to respect each other regarding feelings shared. Plus with confidentiality there is no discussion afterwards about that happening itself.. Whatever has happened or happens emotionally to them. And there is no discussion about that happening itself. 'They own what they feel or felt.'
faith and validation
by Rob Metcalfe
This articlen written by Rob Metcalfen, (CCI-USA) got as title from him: 'Faith and Validation Inquiry Yes or No'. For editorial reasons we changed that into the headline above. And this all in the CCI approach of CCI co-counseling. He writes:'
In recently reading 'The Power of Positive Thinking' by Norman Vincent Peale, it is intriguing to me that he consciously advocates connecting validation with the practice of faith. For him, the faith was in God and Jesus Christ. Validation and faith were essentially inseparable for him. For me this raises the question: 'Does faith increase the power of validation?'
'Help yourself, to be helped' is the title of a booklet which we discovered by accident, in Münster just after the CCI-Europe meeting in Germany. We just stayed after the day we left the CCI meeting at Georgsmarienhütte (near Osnabrück) on Saturday morning, and stayed till Sunday afternoon at Haus Kloppenburg. We met that day several people from the CCI meeting and exchanged several experiences of ourselves at that meeting. My attention for the booklet was attracted by a flyer about that book. It ('selbsthilfe') is written by Ellen Bultmann. The photographer, Dr. Martin Kreuels, contributed one text as well.