The saying 'we all get older' is - in Dutch - what we call a sick joke or a so called 'open door'. This is because it is too much the truth. We all have to do this: face the reality of our aging. Whatever belief we have or not, this is common to all of us.
Getting older myself (I am now almost over 83!), is still in my view a joyful thing! And getting older is not in my control. It just happens. Similarly with aging for all of us, life looks like a process that just overcomes you, whether you like it or not. Thus with facing aging, all can reflect on the question 'Have I used my time well?'
One benefit of aging is that your personal history still grows inside you. It is like a film that unrolls itself- like an evolving process! For myself, it is as if I am back in my fifties and there is still a lot to be thankful for! For example: the kind of people, I met during those years, encouraged me to become the person I am now. And all of them contributed to my being who I am now. Some of them may never known this!
aware or unaware?
As I wrote earlier, reading the self-help book 'selbsthilfe'of Ellen Bultmann and Dr. Martin Kreuels I was impressed. Later I realized that it was not only the amount of diseases and 'troubles' the participants had to meet as emotional realities that was impressive during their lifetime. It was also their many different capacities, to cope with what happened to them, that impressed me. They used these capcacities, whether aware or not aware, which gave them the possibilities to continue, in one way or another, with their life.
'What they did, aware or not aware, was exactly what 'we' (in CCI) do and what we try to do, being more aware and so being the utmost effective in our lives. From the book, mentioned above, it is very clear that one of the 'things' all participants of the different self help groups have in common with the CCI approach is, the confidentiality they want to be honoured. And we have more in common. All the approaches need - in my view - a certain amount of respect for what happened or happens emotionally to the speaker. Thus, the speaker and the listener(s) both have to accept and to respect each other regarding feelings shared. Plus with confidentiality there is no discussion afterwards about that happening itself.. Whatever has happened or happens emotionally to them. And there is no discussion about that happening itself. 'They own what they feel or felt.'
faith and validation
by Rob Metcalfe
This articlen written by Rob Metcalfen, (CCI-USA) got as title from him: 'Faith and Validation Inquiry Yes or No'. For editorial reasons we changed that into the headline above. And this all in the CCI approach of CCI co-counseling. He writes:'
In recently reading 'The Power of Positive Thinking' by Norman Vincent Peale, it is intriguing to me that he consciously advocates connecting validation with the practice of faith. For him, the faith was in God and Jesus Christ. Validation and faith were essentially inseparable for him. For me this raises the question: 'Does faith increase the power of validation?'
'Help yourself, to be helped' is the title of a booklet which we discovered by accident, in Münster just after the CCI-Europe meeting in Germany. We just stayed after the day we left the CCI meeting at Georgsmarienhütte (near Osnabrück) on Saturday morning, and stayed till Sunday afternoon at Haus Kloppenburg. We met that day several people from the CCI meeting and exchanged several experiences of ourselves at that meeting. My attention for the booklet was attracted by a flyer about that book. It ('selbsthilfe') is written by Ellen Bultmann. The photographer, Dr. Martin Kreuels, contributed one text as well.
a message from Zohar
translated by Janice Wasser, Dror Community, Israel
'The following text is a translation of the work of a young Israeli woman named Zohar, who I met during the Israel – Gaza Conflict. She said the text was channeled to her from soldiers who were killed in the war. I'm not really interested in where the text came from, rather the message was very meaningful and I'd like to share that with you all. The missiles from Gaza and Israel may have stopped but sadly, the war on terror continues.' So writes Janice to us. She translated the text of Zohar as follows and we did not change anything.
'We will not accomplish our goals by focusing on what is the opposite of our dreams. If we want to end the war and achieve peace and harmony, we must focus on peace and harmony. When we think of the power of "the enemy" and how to eliminate them and their tunnels, we invest energy on that and thus effectively give them strength.
CCI on YouTube!
Recently I was invited to react on an interview on YouTube about the CCI--approach of co-counseling. Receiving information about that initiative, I was told that this interview was an initiative of 'some members of the CCI-USA organization' and not of the organization itself. The interviewer, published on YouTube, was the well-known CCI-USA member Golda. She interviewed Fred Wallace, a so called 'teacher' of the CCI-USA organization. Fred has been busy for several years with writing a book about his experiences with the CCI approach of co-counseling. This book will be published soon and we are very willing to write about it when the first edition is published this coming autumn.
In answering the initiative for feedback, we were not aware that a second interview was coming soon! And it did! On September 9 we received an email with the message: "The YouTube version of the TV show we did with Pam McDonald and Golda Doyle' is now on YouTube. The (not announced as CCI) Co-Counseling 'present time' tool was the item of this interview. In my personal view, it was a very interesting interview, though some remarks in general have to be made. To look at the Fred Wallace and Pam McDonald interviews, click on the colored letters.
CCI: a miracle!
How important and what in reality is CCI? These two logical questions I had to answer recently when someone, who 'wanted to talk to CCI', decided to mail me. Coming up with a direct answer had its difficulties. Still, I learned a lot with the answering process. I needed to use a lot of words and also some emails and still I have my questions! Because in fact, I realized that those two questions confronted me firmly with the reality that there never existed something worldwide like a regular address to contact CCI.
And so far, I was also never as constantly aware as now, that CCI as such does not exist. There is no office; there is no international organization; there is also no boss. There is only some entity that is called CCI (co-counseling international), an entity without an address. And for forty years, this entity hasn't had an address. That is a miracle in itself! And CCI has worked well, I have to say over this forty year time span - though it always could be better! But nevertheless - if we look at the 40 years existence of CCI - it has created the Miracle of touching individual's lives since its beginning in 1974.
intentional use of CCI
by Rob Metcalfe
Announced as 'Intentional Use of CCI Co-counseling Sessions by a Non-believer in Catharsis Healing' by Rob Metcalfe, a well known member of CCI-USA (and contributer to this newsletter) send me this article. I am happy to publish it! Niek
One of the blessings of CCI Co-counseling is that every co-counselor, including a non-believer in catharsis healing like myself, can create what they need- including their own unique personal vision. In my opinion, one universal vision within CCI co-counseling that holds true for everyone does not exist. Instead, there is a melting pot of ideas that creates strength in diversity. This article will attempt to convey how this non-believer in catharsis healing practices intentionality within co-counseling sessions to move to a long range goal/intention. Others, including yourself, may see things totally different from me and that's OK.
the power of consensus (?)
In Openings, the at least once a year only for members submitted newsletter of the CCI-USA community in Connecticut (USA) publishes in her last issue an article of Fred Wallace. It is called: 'Is a Historical Overreaction Still Haunting CCI-USA?' . We asked Fred consent to quote publicly parts of this article. Because what he names is utmost important for all who observe and have the need to take decisions for themselves and or others.
He writes: 'By substituting the extreme form of individualism called 'consensus,' in which a single individual can 'block' even the simplest decision, the founders of CCI basically changed one pattern of organizational control for another. Here consensus rules with no exception. In all this there is no trust in the collective as is true in authoritarian rule'.
So he writes - in my understanding - about examples of, on the one hand extreme authoritarian behavior opposite decisions made by consensus and the different ways in between. Practically by the CCI approach of emotions.
the listening project
at CCI-Europe 2014 (4)
Suddenly, somewhere in the afternoon of Sunday July 27 a VW Passat car with a caravan blocked (for a while) the entrance of Haus Ohrbeck in Georgamarienhütte (near Osnabrück, Germany). In big letters the caravan says: ' LISTENING PROJECT ' followed by 'www.artinprogress.info'. Touching this internet address, you automatically contact the information on the website in German and/or English. And it tells you exactly what the listening project on the caravan is: 'an experimental space for co-operative listening'. The project has been developed and is performed by Rudolf Giesselmann [Hamburg] and Susan Tilley [London].
The 'listening project' is 'part' of the CCI meeting at Haus Ohrbeck, Rudolf is an active CCI co-counselor. And I experienced its influence, together with Dymphna from Ireland. Taking terms in speaking - and listening - is also part of the experiences of the CCI approach. Working with a timer - in this case two sand glasses - is another. And the most impressive experience for me was the silence (even only for 30 seconds) with the red sand glass plus the lack of interruptions because its aim is to listen to the resounds of what has been said!