the CCI approach (2)

a range of assumptions

In CCI we have assumptions. Assumptions help us to get a handle of how to respectfully relate to and experience self and others within the CCI approach. They contribute to what we want and what will happen. For instance: we are thirsty. We do not think about that. We just drink something, in answer to that observation, as an automatic reaction. Yet there is a whole lot more going on beneath these behaviors. We observe a 'feeling thirsty´, and by raising our awareness we start to think 'what do I do'. So a process gets started whereby we need to discover an answer to that need.

Our biology automatically responds ´we need something to drink´. Spontaneously, the next question arises ´what can we drink?´ The steps are: we first become aware of the need, then start to think about an answer to meet that need - like an orange, some water, some milk ... and then we decide on the next steps to finalize our solution. So by following these steps, an internal process is generated. Namely, the process of becoming aware and finding a solution to answer the need. And this all happens in a split second.

And what do we learn from this? We learn: that an observation from us (and also an emotional observation) starts a spontaneous process. And if we choose, we can continue that process! Examples are everywhere. Here's another: we feel cold outside on a cold brisk day. We need warmth. How do we get that? One answer is going inside. But there are other possible answers. We can also start a fire. We are in charge and make the choice! If we choose to start a fire, there's a process for this: we need some materials to burn (wood, paper), matches for lighting, oxygen to maintain combustion over time, etc. These are essential ingredients. If only one of those are not available, the process could never start or continue.

This one example makes clear that some assumptions are essential to us. Another example - the assumption - 'we have to eat if we want to physically survive', also proves this. And many assumptions, like these, are also essential for a healthy living. The CCI approach for experiencing emotions is one of them. Here, there is a whole range of activities around becoming personally and emotionally aware that starts a process. And this process reveals what we all have in common: the capacity for personal awareness. We, who use the CCI approach, have started a highly personal journey of discovering what is going on for us experientially.

essential emotional assumptions

In my view (Niek's) the most important assumption of the CCI approach is: that there is no outside authority. Each of us is self responsible to observe and experience the results of our emotions. In addition, we are the only ones to decide how to label our emotions: sad, happy, etc. Plus we are the only ones to decide what we want to believe, how to believe it and why. Within the CCI approach, while we are becoming aware through observing, labeling and deciding: we also choose to fully respect each other. The reason for this is, that though our background essentially differ from each other, we are innately equal (neither is better or worse than the other). Our essential commonality outweighs our differences. Thus we are all together on the same track to gain peace with our personal past, present and future.

Within CCI, mutual respect results in positive consequences such as, the fact that you and your session partner will never refer to each other's session content. The 'book' of what happened in that session is closed forever. The reason for this is that your session partner can only guess at your personal reality at this moment. The truth is your personal reality can only be experienced and defined by you - the individual. Thus, the most impressive 'tool' available within the CCI approach is (Niek 's vision): giving no comment - only witnessing with loving and caring aware attention for each other. About those 'tools'- next time more!

concluding thoughts:

1) Becoming emotionally self aware is as equally essential to us as our basic physical needs, 2) the process/journey of the CCI approach is about becoming emotionally self-aware and 3) the greatest and most impressive 'tool' within the CCI approach is Caring Aware Attention.

Rob Metcalfe;

Niek Sickenga


... just listen


by Rudolph Giesselman
  • flowerThere's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
    Aldous Huxley
  • I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.
    Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
  • pacificlandscape
    Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.
    Rumi 1207-1273