the CCI approach (4)

our brains

By validating our being in the here and now with the support of the CCI co-counseling environment, we become fully grounded in 'who we are now'. Within this special and unique here-and-now grounding process, it is interesting to explore what kind of influences helped to shape our being. Influences can include our parents and their social status and belief system, where we were born, what kind of school we went to, what kind of play we engaged in during youth, who were our role models, our education and its level etc. So there is a whole range of influences that makes us unique, complicated and special!

Together with this reality, it is also important to realize what we have in common with each other. The need of sharing and the need for support are examples. Another example, the need to tell another about what happened to us in the past, present or future, is essential. It is amazing that many of our physical and emotional perceptions seems to be similar. We mirror ourselves in the moment with both our similarities and our differences. With mirroring differences, it is very typical to realize that my color green may be quite different than yours because there is more yellow in it. Some of these perceptual distinctions can be cultural. For instance, a Native American may see green quite differently than a European citizen.

Nowadays, it is not only important what we are able to do physically. It is equally important how smart and clever we are in learning and educating ourselves. What we know today about how our brains work is much greater than what was known (or thought) at the time of our birth. The developments are overwhelming. Human beings have been on the moon. We now look out over our Mother earth with an international or universal view- from an international human made space station. All these changing developments were realized within about a hundred years! They lead to all kinds of questions about who we are, what we are, and why we are here etc.

my own process

These common questions eventually lead us to share our own ideas, based on our own emotional experiences. In the society I use to live in, I observed while listening to what others have to say - that I chose to focus on only one or two words they expressed. Then, my brain started immediately thinking about how to respond - according to my own emotional (belief) experiences. So in fact, I was not fully listening and supporting them in the moment. My awareness of this gave me the opportunity to transform my non-listening pattern to a listening pattern; a change with the power to change the world around me!

So first of all, this range of articles is just an introduction to 'being a listener' to the experiences within ourselves. Secondly with this awareness of ourselves, we can choose ways to change patterns of behavior we dislike, are able to unlearn, and choose to develop better ones. And the fact is that in choosing to create these so called ´healthy´ patterns, we are contradicting much of what our parents and society has conditioned us to be and act.

To unlearn what we were conditioned to do since we were born is very difficult. To help us become an emotionally self-aware listener, the 'CCI fundamental training' is developed. Yet, even successfully passing the whole CCI Fundamentals course, does not ensure us of gaining the capacity for being a self-aware listener. Only by being self-responsible within a process each of us chooses and creates, can we find our own way of being in peace with our past, our present and our future. And being at peace allows us to listen completely to both self and others. Thus, having successfully fulfilled the fundamental training only gives you access to the CCI network. When functioning optimally, the CCI network supports equality through promoting both self-responsibility and respect to others as a Way of Life.

Since we are the only specialist who can best determine how to transform ourselves and change, we use our own brain to choose what works for us. No one else can do that for us. And although we have many commonalities, we also have many differences. Thus as individuals, what works for me might not work for you. This is why it is so important for CCI co-counseling to offer a wide and diverse range of tools to work with. Offering a diverse and wide range of tools to use increases the capacity for self-responsibility and personal growth within a diverse population from a variety of backgrounds.

Rob Metcalfe

Niek Sickenga


... just listen


by Rudolph Giesselman
  • flowerThere's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
    Aldous Huxley
  • I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.
    Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
  • pacificlandscape
    Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.
    Rumi 1207-1273